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September 15, 2017

 A woman opens her body, her soul, her identity & psyche in order to travel through birth. In many ways all that she was is shattered. She is coming into being alongside her new born babe. The pieces fly around then settle into a pattern so erratic it feels her life is still airborne. The first forty days is the time of integration.                       

There is truly a fourth trimester with its own catalogue of hormonal reactions & physical changes. What took 9 months to form is suddenly gone, but our systems take much longer to shift.  This is postpartum.  Most of us don't plan for this time.  We hear the word "postpartum" in hushed tones, an unmentionable fear that implies suicide and depression instead of the normal progression from pregnancy to new mother that the word actually means.  The most we hear...

May 2, 2017

My ease into motherhood this time is linked to  my comfort level with crying.  Getting comfortable with crying- the phrase sounds counterintuitive.  Yet, it is a significant part of our lives as parents, listening to crying, and one thing I have found is we can calm it, but not by pass it all together.  

We are wired to respond to our baby’s cries; crying ensures we care for their needs.  Our babies cry to say “I’m hungry”, “hold me”, “I need a diaper change”, but also “I don’t like this”, “Everything is so new”, “This is hard”.  I have also observed my babies cry simply to let off steam, or as my 3 year-old reminds me often if I ask her why she is upset: “There’s no why’s to it!”.  Babies, toddlers, and kids cry.  Mamas cry.  Papa’s do, too.  It is a part of our human expression, and remember: babies are adjusting to the newness of the human experi...

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