"I just wish I was an only child so I got all the attention!"

"I wish we had 2 more Mamas that Theo could have a Mama and Malcolm could have a Mama and I could have you"

"It's hard having a baby brother because you don't get as much time with your big brother"

I heard all these things and more this week.  There were fistfuls of grass and pillows thrown, toes ran over, turn taking gone awry.  There were too many shrieks to count.  There were hurt feelings. 

It's hard to share a Mama, and my kids aren't even new to this game.  

I find we are fed an inaccurate image of sibling bliss.  We imagine hand-holding and a big sister reading quietly as the baby gazes on.  We imagine soft voices and loving touches.   We imagine a glow around our family.  A couple conceives a longed for second child, (or third or fourth), and the new line fed to the new big brother is "Ar...

October 20, 2017

There’s work in surrendering.  It doesn’t mean “to do nothing” or even “to be passive”.  It is rarely easy.  Instead, surrender means to lay down your weapons, to be vulnerable in yielding to something else, letting down the defense, the plan, the control.

And anyone who has ever done that knows it is hard, hard work.

I’m thinking of surrender in terms of birth, (which I usually do), which leads me to drawing parallels between birth and parenting and then all of life, (as it usually does)...

In order to give birth we must get our head out of the way, set our knowledge & desire for control aside.  For most, this is a concerted effort.  We work to build up our knowledge, devouring books on natural birth or newborn care.  This knowledge is incredible power for helping us make informed choices, oh yes.  This is big and important.  But somewhere along the line,...

May 2, 2017

My ease into motherhood this time is linked to  my comfort level with crying.  Getting comfortable with crying- the phrase sounds counterintuitive.  Yet, it is a significant part of our lives as parents, listening to crying, and one thing I have found is we can calm it, but not by pass it all together.  

We are wired to respond to our baby’s cries; crying ensures we care for their needs.  Our babies cry to say “I’m hungry”, “hold me”, “I need a diaper change”, but also “I don’t like this”, “Everything is so new”, “This is hard”.  I have also observed my babies cry simply to let off steam, or as my 3 year-old reminds me often if I ask her why she is upset: “There’s no why’s to it!”.  Babies, toddlers, and kids cry.  Mamas cry.  Papa’s do, too.  It is a part of our human expression, and remember: babies are adjusting to the newness of the human experi...

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